So.. he wants a boy.  She is hoping for a girl but mostly hopes it's just a healthy baby.  He brags that he's right and he knows he is.
Almost to the point of being smug.
It almost somehow would devalue the worth of the baby if it was a girl.  

Yesterday was the whatevergram..  my phone rang and it was his voice,
"Hello Mommmy!" [ doesn't he know that irritates me? ]
"It's a boy!"  His voice so reflecting his ...'see I was right and I got what I wanted' attitude.

There was only silence in the background from my daughter.  Because it was a boy?
Probably cause she chose this guy and he's now gloating that it's a boy, he once again got what he wanted AND..and..  'He made it.'  Yes.. he said that!

Uhm.. hello.  You got laid.  She's doing the rest!  No, I didn't say it...
Well, okay not exactly that way.

He picked out the middle name... his father's name.  An Iranian name.  She picked out Ethan for the first name.  Later they checked in to it and he suddenly didn't like it... is.. Jewish.  My daughter was telling me this and I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or not because his name is ... David.  She was apparently very QUICK to point that out too!  Good for her!

The baby shower is causing her considerable stress.  It has to be held in the only place his mother can go because she's in jail.. work release allows her to go to the restaurant she works which means... everyone buys dinner.  Uhm.. maybe the mother should have stayed out of jail???  Ya..think??  So, either her friends pay money they can't afford OR.. they don't go. Same with our family.  Not all of our family can pay for a dinner and to do so because someone is in jail totally sucks.

I told her if she's not hosting this,  which she's not even supposed to know about it, (the shower is supposed to be a surprise I had always thought) then don't let any of it stress her out,  it's not supposed to that's why someone else hosts it.  But she's asking me what to do or how to word invitations.. so that dinner gets paid for.  "Well,  I don't know hon cause I wanted to do this for you and it would have been here,  at the house and we'd have paid for all of it.. but that's how I know it's supposed to work."   ( Guilt trip? Me? )

She's registered too.  She picked things out.  Some things there are more than one picked out until he has a chance to decide which one he wants.  Uhhmm... excuse me?  I want to shake her.  I want to just rattle her brains until they scramble back in to the brains of the daughter I knew.  The one that didn't get out of bed and lay out his clothes for him,  let him make way too many decisions for her.    He said something the other day that was way too close to the idea that this pregnancy now makes her his but I don't remember how he worded it.  I just remember the pain as I bit my tongue. 

Then,  there was the added news.  She really wants us there, including my husband.... at this shower.  She thinks this guy is going to ask her to marry him at the shower.    Does she know how painful that would be to watch?  Does she ever notice smiles are only pasted on?  He's around and we live in a world of pretend. 

I have a picture of her hanging in my office.  It is with her last boyfriend.   He had his issues but they were young.  But,  in this picture there is something in both his face and my daughter's face that brings me peace.  You knew she was happy and it was real.  I wish I saw this in her face now but I keep this picture because I am afraid it is the last time I'll ever see that look in her face again.
If I did...  if my husband saw that..then other things wouldn't be so worrisome. 
If they were partners maybe...  but despite his faults he's always the better person.  He doesn't have a high school diploma.  Maybe this will explain it.  He did something stupid and got expelled right before graduation.  It happens.  You at least get a GED.  He won't.  He's too smart to have only a GED. 
So..  it's smarter to have no diploma of any kind?   When you are that STUPID..yes I said it and I Hate that word STUPID.. if you are so STUPID that you think you are too smart for a GED then you are really aren't too bright.    When you can tell me you made this baby (not helped) yet you are not pregnant then in my eyes,  you aren't terribly bright.  The world revolves around him ...at least from where I stand looking in and if he thinks,  ever thinks he can do what he wants with my daughter, he's sorely mistaken.  You see...
She's not just my daughter...
She's also my current husband's daughter.. not step daughter,  he raised her.
She's my ex husband's daughter.. but he's nothing to worry about.. unless shamed in to action.
She's also the daughter of the man that lived down the street who'd also protect her with his life.
She's the daughter of another family that lived down the street.. ah the wonderful part of a neighborhood...  they all become family.
She's the sister of a young man that would die protecting her.
She's the sister of another that would protect her.
All of them have friends.  She's a girl that is loved by more than even she knows. 

So.. he should get in his head straight off ..  life isn't about just him.  He owns nothing,  right now not even his own car.   He can't own another human being nor does a pregnancy give him certain rights to another adult. 
My biggest fear is that he'll marry her and take her to Iran... they had spoken of that plus he wants to move away from here.  You know, my other daughter was married to someone that hit her... that I could fight.  This.. I can't.. So,  I pretend.  When he says something I'd smack one of my own for saying... I pretend.  When he gets smart mouthed with my husband I choke back my words.  Every time he calls me "Mommmmyyy" I swallow the bile and pretend because as long as he feels welcome here he might not take my daughter across the world where she'd have nobody. 

I read an advertisement for a website where you can write in comments regarding contractors you've hired.  I can see where it looks like it might have possibilities for consumers.  If people have a place they can check on a contractor and how customers feel about the work done then you can feel more comfortable in making choices for work needing done in your own home.

I can also see drawbacks.  People scorned.. or at least think they are scorned can be quite unkind.  I can envision someone posting negative comments unfairly or unwarranted. 

Example:  Customer wanted a shelf over her windows.  It was to span the 6-8 foot wall and the ONLY support she wanted was to have the shelf nailed in to the casing or trim that is around the windows.  My husband patiently explained why this wouldn't work and offered other ideas to support this shelf she wanted.  He tried to tell her it simply would not safely hold anything with any signifcant amount of weight.. "But all I want to put up there is some baskets and maybe the wine rack." 

After that comment he simply told her he refused to do it.  He could not nor would he guarantee the safety of this shelf.  She was not happy and I understand her frustration since someone DID do this in another house.  Some people will do anything ... customer is always right?  No,  not when they truly can't picture that wine rack coming down on top of their head.  I don't know if she got someone else to put the shelf up.  I hope not but I have a feeling she did and if she had access to post online about this company it wouldn't be good.   Afterall, he refused to do what she wanted.

One example I read in the advertisment was that "They were there only two hours and charged me $840.00!"  But .. what did that pay for?  "They" implies the contractor has other people working for him or her.   There's wages.  How about supplies and materials?  Perhaps work done prior to coming to your house? 

If a contractor simply showed up, worked two hours and left I can see where that is outrageous.  Many might think the same of my husband.. in and out in a short time but there was the three days prior that he was building your cabinets, cost of the lumber and other supplies. 

Comparitively,  my husband used to do all the mechanical work on our vehicles.  Now,  if a truck is down it's time away from work.. time he's losing money.  Sometimes it does seem to cost an outrageous amount of money to take a truck to the shop for repairs but when we figured out the mechanic has the tools,  the skill and more importantly,  it's his job so he's got the time for us to drop the truck off it becomes wiser for us to spend the money on the mechanic.  That way,  my husband can take another vehicle to work and not spend money repairing the broken one AND losing money from the lost work.  Did that make sense?  So...  yes, the cost seems too much until you figure in it's value to you. 

I guess this is long winded for explaining that while a public place to post is definately a good idea for consumers I hope that posts are credible.  If a contractor does not conduct business in an appropriate manner you have a right to know and indeed SHOULD know.   However, I think in researching a company make sure you check more than online information.  See if you can contact other customers or see the work they've done.   

Don't be afraid to ask if a company charges reasonable rates for the work they do but don't ask how much they paid and expect the same price.     Sometimes a customer becomes an advertisement,  word of mouth is a wonderful thing but a business pays a price for that in offering to do the job a bit cheaper.  Someone did this with a modular house.. the customer paid less but the contractor sends people to drive by their house to see his product.  ( Not inside..outside) 

Do research,  and do it ahead of time.  You might not need a plumbing company right now but IF you ever do.. you don't want to have to take the time to research a plumbing company when your bathroom is backed up.  So,  do it "just in case."  Compare rates and quality of work.  And of course,  there is nothing better than finding out what actual customers think but find out more than just one or two. 

It's your house and your money...  spend it wisely so you are happy with the completed job for years to come.

I got this from someone else's blog..  Thank you Tammy!

 Want to test somthing...  skip on down to read something please. 
Blech,  so far I haven't figured out how to arrange this so there is some order to the blog.  I might make a seperate one to link to for the vacation.. yeah,  good idea.  In the mean time I leave you with this....  Our Travels

Now officially stuck in Rapid City my itinerary was trashed.  While I'm trying not to complain about scratching off Yellowstone he kept threatening to buy a new truck.  But the one in the shop was still under warranty.  We had money for the vacation not a vacation and a truck. 

The trailer was parked for the duration at his cousins.  We managed to get a hotel room for two nights.  I heard only the blur of the woman saying something about two rooms.  Why a blur?  There was a waterfall.. of sorts..inside the lobby.  It kept capturing my attention and all I heard was "two rooms."  I tried to explain there is only two of us,  we don't need two rooms.  I am a gold member.. they upgraded me to a suite!  I've never been in a suite.  We..took.. movies!  I forgot to press the record button I think!  What's new?

Once we were settled in,  okay,  we were excited.. we dropped the suitcases and went to get a bike.  What the heck,  might as well go see what Main Street Sturgis will be like come the following week, eh?  And of course time was spent with family and getting aquainted with a cousin he's not seen in thirty five years. 


I tried taking pictures but for the most part gave up on being able to make sure I was aimed right.  I've come to the conclusion that because the sun was so bright I couldn't beat the reflections or something so I just aimed the camera and took movies.  Most of the pictures I have are stills from movies I took.  I don't like the quality of picture though.  My husband has determined that before we go again I will have a different camera to take with me. 

He's only begun his vacation and making quite the shopping list!  Sturgis shirts for everyone,  a new truck and new camera.    In those first couple days we did stop at a Harley store to buy a shirt.  He likes to get one at most of the cities we go to.  What neither of us noticed until days later was that mine had been mended across the shoulder but sold at regular price.  You know,  you pay a lot of money to advertise for Harley Davidson.  I think I'm done doing that! 

The following day we got the truck .. it was a recall part that had given us such trouble.  After parking it at his cousins,  his cousin took us for a ride around to places he thought we'd like.  It is a place where you can be in grasslands and thirty minutes later surrounded by pine trees with the scent of Christmas permeating the senses.  One can't help but wonder just how people managed to survive there without the simple things in life;  air conditioning, showers, stoves and did I say.. showers? 

One main stop is where a cousin's ashes were spread.  The pictures don't do it justice.  It is a beautiful place and where we were going to go there was a wedding going on.  There is something comforting in knowing that places for endings can also be places for wonderful beginnings.  I hope the newly married couple have years of wonderful memories.








We stopped at a lake with the bluest water I've ever seen,  another stop was made and we could see part of another rock formation..George Washington's side view carved into the rocks!




Of course there was also Crazy Horse, also being sculpted out of rock.  Perhaps there will be more on both of these places at a later date but for now I need to stop.

There is little to say of our first day on the road.   So, please don't look for much here.

My husband already had his aunt's address entered into the gizmo I call "The Chatterbox."  It's a GPU ..thing.  It tells you where to go.  On top of the dash board was the atlas.  Drinks were in the cup holders and we had more stuff than on any other trip we have ever been on.  Computer,  portable DVD player,  iced tea mix for the water,  a notebook to write in and of course my pillow and blanket.  I do get cold with the AC on and he gets hot with it off.  I like snuggling under blankets so that was an issue easily solved. 

There was little to see that was new to us on this first bit of the ride as we ride to southern Pennsylvania all the time.  York to be exact.  It was further north that the chatterbox dumped us on to the Pennsylvania Turnpike.  Other than you pay for this road I'm not sure why my husband wasn't amused yet even that was short lived. 

In Pittsburgh he thought we'd get off and go get something to eat.  It seems that on the turnpike pretty much all that is offered is McDonalds.  Ick.  One tunnel and the chatterbox gizmo shut off.  It never dawned on us to turn it back on.  In fact we only thought it lost it's signal and would at any time pick up the signal and begin working again.  He hates to go to Pittsburgh.  So far,  every time he's been there he gets lost and this was no different other than,  I have family there. 

I knew he didn't want to be in Pittsburgh.  I knew he hated being lost.  I also was accutely aware that we were riding around in a truck with a trailer and he didn't particularly like driving around aimlessly.  So,  I never asked to visit them..  In fact,  when he told me to call my aunt I thought he was either joking or wanting me to call her and get directions out of there.  It was not until several days later I found out he actually meant for me to call.  To stop to visit.  Ugh!  I hate when that happens.

We finally found our way to the turnpike and it was not long after that he noticed he had no running lights on the trailer.  This was a minor frustration for him.  We got a late start so he intended to drive late but now we would have to stop at dusk.  A minor change in plans but still do-able.  Just get up real early and start as soon as daylight starts and get as far as possible the next morning.

We'd make it to Cleveland.  "Just don't stay in Parma."  I had lived there and knew at least the part of it I lived in wasn't the best of neighborhoods.  But, he was forced to stop to avoid a ticket so.. Parma Heights it was.  You know,  maybe it's a better neighborhood now?  Parma Heights is surrounded on three sides by Parma.. but it was actually a pleasant evening and we made the hastey retreat we planned.   With nothing else exciting happening.



We made it to Chicago.  I was trying to take pictures though all I could see through the camera was pretty much... white.  It made it very hard to focus.  Not to mention we were moving.  This would be a problem that would plague me through the entire trip. 

Very shortly after paying and passing through this I heard the first truly frustrated curse word.  The check engine light came on, turbo went out and now I was stuck on the phone trying to find out where the closest Ford Dealer was.  We hadn't made it far that day but, once the truck was turned in for repairs he pulled out a motorcycle and we were on our merry way to find a place to eat and sleep.  Worse case scenario is that the part wouldn't arrive until 2:00 PM the next day.  Uhhh.. I had an itinerary and Chicago wasn't on it!  But,  we adapt well and hoped for the best.

What we got was a truck that was repaired that evening.  Still too late to leave because of the running lights but ready for an early morning departure.   By Souix Falls the check engine light was on again.   He was not stopping if possible.  All of his ...uh.. whatevers suggested that everything was okay.. all but that light and the turbo not working right.   So he kept on until we made it to Rapid City where he has family.   Turned the truck in for repairs,  gave his cell phone number and that of his cousin,  got the trailer parked at his cousin's first,  then went to the hotel to see if they had rooms.  There was one glitch in this plan that we didn't know of.  Our cell phones don't work at all in South Dakota.    Of course it was a glitch.. to him.  He needed to be called for his truck.  I saw it as a good thing... work wouldn't be pestering him!

Plans were made in November for this vacation; one my husband wanted to go on for years.  We had originally planned to leave Friday, August 4th.  Go directly to Rapid City,  South Dakota for the week of the Sturgis Bike Rally and come home.  That was in November.

In the months prior to our departure my husband found out he'd had family in Rapid City.  Given that hotel rates seem to raise for the bike rally it would make sense to stay with family but we did not want to impose.  It would have been too much like one of those relatives that don't bother with you until they want a place to sleep for free.  So,  we opted to keep the hotel and spend this time getting to know his family rather than imposing upon them.

My husband spent hours online looking up things to see,  do,  places to ride to in South Dakota.  We debated which concerts we wanted to see and where they were.  While doing this he was able to find his family members that lived there and begin emailing them.  It was all seeming to come together but not the funds for this trip.

Days, weeks and months passed by and as construction began to slow down so did our business income.  Which meant...  the possibility of even having money to go on this vacation began to dwindle.   With this lack of funds came the discussion of postponing this vacation to another year. 

Then I started to do something I don't like to do... creative financing.  Come hell or high water my husband was going to have his vacation.  It is also during this slow down that we get the majority of our large bills.  It was looking dismal but for Father's Day I had hoped to give him $1000.00 toward this.  Not even a drop in the bucket compared to how much we'd need.  That didn't happen... another insurance bill sapped that plan.  But,  ultimately I did get money saved and for the rest I'd simply have to break out the credit cards I hate to use. 

Finally down to a couple weeks before we go and the bikes were both gone over to make sure they'd not break down.   Arrangements for the business were made so rather than shut down the boys kept working as they wanted.  As my husband completed jobs early he started to plan to leave earlier.  First it was Thursday we might be able to leave.  I packed.  Then,  Thursday's work pushed to another day so we'd leave Wednesday.  Sheridan, Wyoming was added to our trip for a stop over so we could now go to The Little Big Horn Memorial and Devil's Tower. 

I ran out of clothes and had to unpack enough to do laundry again and repack.   IF he got the cabinets done early maybe we could leave Tuesday!  Now,  I'm doing something I never did.  I started pouring over maps.  It was too much like my mother in law but I understand why she enjoys it!  With the added time,  Yellowstone National Park was added to our list of things to do.  For the first time ever we had a plan for a vacation.  An itinerary for each day.   Drive west to Yellowstone and then make our way back east to Rapid City for the week. 

Monday he left for work.  I made sure we had everything we'd need,  checked weather channels for rain,  added more clothes and started cleaning the house when the phone rang.  "Want to leave today?"  Uh... I still have to vacuum and clean the coffee pots, get the trash out;  I can't leave today!  "YES!" 

By early Monday afternoon the truck was loaded,  bikes in the trailer.   Water and soda was put on ice and packed in the truck and we were off ... we were on our way away from the worries of business,  family, bills and for once we were on what we consider an extended time away from life and spending time with just each other and it was going to be memorable!

Other than being ready to move... I am home and have a ton of work to do.  Unpack,  laundry, figure out who we bought these shirts for and...  get a picture of this tattoo.

More later.. I swear but right now I can't walk in the house.  The problem with trailering motorcycles to a bike rally?  You have extra space to pack things, buy things, and include enough redwood for a deck!

The road was melting.

Wizard.

Devils Tower.

Change of plans for next year...

Need to sort what pictures I have.

Need to save money again to buy a good camera.

Taco Johns

Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse,  Hill City, Deadwood, Keystone,  Lake I wanted pictures of.


Things that made the news.

Second go around with the truck... I've not even had my laptop as we were hotel hopping.  We did ride the motorcycle to ..oh my!  Everywhere.  Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Sturgis.  Sturgis!  Battle of Little Big Horn and probably the most beautiful place in the world. 
We went to Montana and are back in South Dakota now.  We have at least one more trip to Wyoming.  My pictures didn't turn out too good. Yellowstone is now officially scratched off the list of places to visit because the truck was in the shop here in Rapid City... More to come as it is now very late and my brain is fried after sitting on the bike all day in this heat.

But you know...  this country truly is majestic.

Notes to remember... children and cliffs don't mix with parents that say, "I told him to stay away from the edge."

Cars in front of the break for semi's that lose their brakes... new book topic.  Really stupid people being killed by their really stupid mistakes.  Morbid.  I know.  Not normal every day stupid,  but tempting a semi to run over you type stupid.

Motorcycles in storms.